Is there a solution to creating calm, eliminating chaos in your home, and molding your children into respectful and loving little people? There’s certainly no magic wand to wave, but there are amazing tools and practices you can put into place today to put your family on the right path.
I had the opportunity to take a 4-hour Positive Discipline Intensive with Casey O’Roarty at Joyful Courage last weekend. My first thought was, “well, my daughter is still very young, but I would like to start thinking ahead about how to deal with discipline and get some tools in my belt.” What I felt when I left? “Wow, I better start implementing some of these practices now. It’s definitely not too early to start.”
Positive Discipline is about inviting and modeling the behavior you want to see in your family. The theory is based on Alfred Alder, who believed that a sense of connection is necessary, as well as mutual respect and encouragement for adults and children alike. Misbehavior occurs when you are struggling to find belonging or meaning in your environment. Makes sense, right? My 3 year old wants to be a “big helper” and be invited to take part in our everyday activities, even things that seem mundane to me. When I am discouraging, rather than helping empower her to make decisions, I am unintentionally inviting rebellion.
Our 4 hours flew by quickly, discussing parenting styles balanced with kindness and firmness – freedom with order and boundaries. I found great take-aways that I can apply to my marriage and work, not just my parenting skills. And tools like routines, agreements and family meetings can be applied to even the youngest children. The workshop was hardly sitting and listening. Casey had us implementing and practicing our de-escalation techniques, empowering and encouraging talk and curiosity questions through role playing.
Now, are there going to be monumental changes overnight? I am committed to putting into practice the tools I learned at the Joyful Courage workshop, but of course, it takes time, and there are no perfect parents. We all slip up sometimes. But by creating a consistent environment where children know they are respected and loved and an important part of the family, an occasional slip up will be absorbed and everyone will move on. Like a tree, we have to have a sturdy, grounded trunk, but flexible and playful branches that can swing with the joys and challenges presented to us every day.
If you’re interested in learning more, you can visit www.joyfulcourage.com and visit Casey’s coaching offerings, blog and more. And if you want to dive deeper than a 4 hour class can provide, Casey is offering a 7-week class on Thursdays starting April 30th at the YMCA in Monroe.
