There’s a natural part of parenting where we want to do everything for our kids; and when I say everything I mean everything. We figure they’re going to have to make their own bed when they go away to college so we might as well do it for them now. We load and unload the dishwasher because the child is right in the middle of doing something fun, and really – we don’t want any more broken glasses.
But doing everything for your child may actually be doing them more harm than good. According to Psychology Today*, children who are more independent are actually better off in the long run, and have more self-esteem.
One way you bring independence into your child’s life is having them help you with those household chores we can never seem to get around to. And before you even start heading down that road of guilt, halt! Children naturally want to help, and when they see you doing something, it’s pretty much a sure bet that they want to do what you’re doing.
Maria Montessori, founder of the 100-year alternative teaching method, was one of the first doctors and educational experts to realize that children like to help out and do chores. They not only find it fun, they learn from it; they develop fine motor skills, coordination and self-esteem.
A big thing in Montessori is “freedom within limits.” And of course, no on is telling you to set your child free in the kitchen to make a cake without knowing how to turn off the oven. The first step is showing the child how to do something properly, be there to support them for the first few times if they have questions and then point them down a road of independence.
CHORES FOR YOUR 2-3 YEAR OLD CHILD
According to experts you toddler is fully capable to do the following household chores (so you don’t have to!):
• Put toys into toy box
• Stack books on a shelf
• Put dirty clothes in hamper
• Put trash in the trash can
• Fold washcloths
• Set the table
• Dust
FOR THE 4-5 YEAR OLD CHILD
• Feed household pets
• Wipe up spills
• Make their bed
• Water plants
• Prepare a simple snack for themselves
• Put away dishes
FOR YOUR 6-7 YEAR OLD
• Fold towels
• Mop the floor
• Match socks
• Weed the garden
• Rake leaves
• Peel potatoes/carrots
• Make a salad
• Replace a roll of toilet paper (yeah!)
AN 8-9 YEAR OLD CAN:
• Load the dishwasher
• Change a light bulb
• Do the laundry
• Put away groceries
• Scramble eggs
• Bake cookies
• Walk the dog
10-11 YEAR OLD CHILDREN CAN:
• Clean the bathroom
• Vacuum
• Mow the lawn
• Bring in the mail
• Sew
WHEN YOUR CHILD IS AGE 12 AND OLDER, THEY CAN:
• Mop the floor
• Wash and vacuum the family car
• Paint walls
• Shop for groceries with a shopping list
• Cook a complete dinner
• Do simple home repairs
• Watch younger siblings
Kim Berude, the Infant/Toddler Program Director at Montessori Children’s House (MCH) in Redmond, says that infants are more capable than their parents think they are. “Children grow and flourish when empowered to discover things on their own and handle situations on their own.”
Berude, who also leads MCH’s Parent & Child Program, Discover Me, says that often the hardest part of a child spilling something, isn’t cleaning it up, it’s the parent taking the time to explain or show what the appropriate action is (wiping it up) and standing back to let the child do the work.
“We as parents want to rush in and make everything better, but the true education is empowering the child and letting them learn from their experience,” said Berude.
Berude, who has been leading Discover Me for over a year, says that she has seen helicopter parents change over the course of MCH’s six-week class. “At the beginning of the session parents were a little unsure and quick to rush over and assist their child with something as easy as how to use blocks or a Montessori work [like scooping]. By the end of series, I saw parents sitting back and letting their child take more and more ‘risks’ in our classroom. It was amazing to watch that evolution,” Berude said.
To learn more about MCH’s Discover Me program, and enroll in the Fall session (beginning October 11), visit MCHkids.com or call (425) 868-7805.
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201011/parenting-raise-independent-children
List of age appropriate chores referenced from Flandersfamily.info.
